Femmy for rent
Today started off well. I was in a decent mood.
Felt alive, productive and special.
Unfortunately it ended with me questioning where I was and where I wanted to be. Questioning my own loyalty and my reasons for it. Wondering if I am nice or naive. Wondering who to trust... Wondering if I can trust even myself to look out for my own best interests.
So when a Femmy is down she goes to visit her friendly Florist ;) At least I know he'll either make me laugh - or make me angry to take my mind off of whatever else is bothering me. Today was a good day. Even the car ride was enjoyable. I laughed. I groaned. I laughed again. I ate and then went for ice cream. I felt 92 percent better coming home from our evening outing than I did showing up there.
I feel better for now. I still have a lot of decisions to make.
I'm looking at leaving funeral services. I've spent my life since I've been yay high knowing this is what I wanted. It's still what I want but just not anywhere near realistic. I want to leave while I still love it instead of waiting until I am bitter and resentful towards the whole profession. I'm scared. Afraid of the change. Afraid of giving up. Afraid of giving in. Afraid of new challenges, going back to school. Did I mention afraid of giving up? Not sure if my own pride can handle that... Although I think my pride is basically squished right now so what can it hurt, right? I need to be somewhere refreshing maybe. Somewhere I can excel. Somewhere where I can actually bring things to the table. Somewhere I can be me without worrying about stepping on toes or crossing boundaries. Somewhere where I used to be. I want to be me again. I want to feel good about it. I'm at that point where I don't. I still smile and nod and so on... But I'm good at that.
Femmy for rent, Femmy for rent.
I'm obedient, tidy, efficient and organized.
I'm proactive, a wonderful little baker, and am very hygienic.
Felt alive, productive and special.
Unfortunately it ended with me questioning where I was and where I wanted to be. Questioning my own loyalty and my reasons for it. Wondering if I am nice or naive. Wondering who to trust... Wondering if I can trust even myself to look out for my own best interests.
So when a Femmy is down she goes to visit her friendly Florist ;) At least I know he'll either make me laugh - or make me angry to take my mind off of whatever else is bothering me. Today was a good day. Even the car ride was enjoyable. I laughed. I groaned. I laughed again. I ate and then went for ice cream. I felt 92 percent better coming home from our evening outing than I did showing up there.
I feel better for now. I still have a lot of decisions to make.
I'm looking at leaving funeral services. I've spent my life since I've been yay high knowing this is what I wanted. It's still what I want but just not anywhere near realistic. I want to leave while I still love it instead of waiting until I am bitter and resentful towards the whole profession. I'm scared. Afraid of the change. Afraid of giving up. Afraid of giving in. Afraid of new challenges, going back to school. Did I mention afraid of giving up? Not sure if my own pride can handle that... Although I think my pride is basically squished right now so what can it hurt, right? I need to be somewhere refreshing maybe. Somewhere I can excel. Somewhere where I can actually bring things to the table. Somewhere I can be me without worrying about stepping on toes or crossing boundaries. Somewhere where I used to be. I want to be me again. I want to feel good about it. I'm at that point where I don't. I still smile and nod and so on... But I'm good at that.
Femmy for rent, Femmy for rent.
I'm obedient, tidy, efficient and organized.
I'm proactive, a wonderful little baker, and am very hygienic.
posted by Femicas | 21:44
1 Comments:
perhaps a housekeeping/bestfriend/therapeut role would intereset you? the job would be located to Stockholm, Sweden.
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